Not Like This

from Violence And Ataraxia by Jason Yellen

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lyrics

I have been lost,
Just not like this.
I hurl words into something,
Or somewhere.
Maybe a cave, a fall, an absence.
Maybe a wish.
But nothing returns.

There are voices around me
Searching, or stating, advising, proclaiming.
Oh! How they’re trying.
But, in the end
They’re just leaves in the wind,
I don’t know how to need them in the state that I am.
If I’m not in the world, then what am I in?

I have been lost…

I am a cave, a well, a fall with no floor.
I am so open there’s nothing to hold.
I am a wish.
I have been lost,
But never like this…

The world is in motion, in language,
I just sit still.
I remember pushing and fighting,
Almost becoming,
Always just on the verge.
Now I’ve become
And my body’s a blur.
Words run right through me,
And nothing returns.

If I’m not in the world, then what am I in?
I sense no strangeness,
No waking,
Just animal skin.
I have become with nothing to say,
Nothing to form.

The world is in motion, in language,
I’m perfectly still.

I have been lost…

I am a cave, a well, a fall with no floor.
I am so open there’s nothing to hold.
I am a wish.
I have been lost,
But never like this.

I have been lost…

credits

from Violence And Ataraxia, released December 3, 2022

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Jason Yellen New York

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